Lesson 12： Why I Write

　　从很小的时候，大概五、六岁，我知道长大以后将成为一个作家。

　　From a very early age， perhaps the age of five or six， I knew that when I grew up I should be a writer.

　　从15到24岁的这段时间里，我试图打消这个念头，可总觉得这样做是在戕害我的天性，认为我迟早会坐下来伏案著书。

　　Between the ages of about seventeen and twenty-four I tried to adandon this idea， but I did so with the consciousness that I was outraging my true nature and that sooner or later I should have to settle down and write books.

　　三个孩子中，我是老二。老大和老三与我相隔五岁。8岁以前，我很少见到我爸爸。由于这个以及其他一些缘故，我的性格有些孤僻。我的举止言谈逐渐变得很不讨人喜欢，这使我在上学期间几乎没有什么朋友。

　　I was the middle child of three， but there was a gap of five years on either side， and I barely saw my father before I was eight- For this and other reasons I was somewhat lonely， and I soon developed disagreeable mannerisms which made me unpopular throughout my schooldays.

　　我像一般孤僻的孩子一样，喜欢凭空编造各种故事，和想像的人谈话。我觉得，从一开始，我的文学志向就与一种孤独寂寞、被人冷落的感觉联系在一起。我知道我有驾驭语言的才能和直面令人不快的现实的能力。这一切似乎造就了一个私人的天地，在此天地中我能挽回我在日常生活中的不得意。

　　I had the lonely child's habit of making up stories and holding conversations with imaginary persons， and I think from the very start my literary ambitions were mixed up with the feeling of being isolated and undervalued.

　　我知道我有驾驭语言的才能和直面令人不快的现实的能力。这一切似乎造就了一个私人的天地，在此天地中我能挽回我在日常生活中的不得意。

　　I knew that I had a facility with words and a power of facing unpleasant facts， and I felt that this created a sort of private world in which I could get my own back for my failure

　　还是一个小孩子的时候，我就总爱把自己想像成惊险传奇中的主人公，例如罗宾汉。但不久，我的故事不再是粗糙简单的自我欣赏了。它开始趋向描写我的行动和我所见所闻的人和事。

　　。 . As a very small child I used to imagine that I was， say， Robin Hood， and picture myself as the hero of thrilling adventures， but quite soon my “story” ceased to be narcissistic in a crude way and became more and more a mere description of what I was doing and the things I saw.

　　一连几分钟，我脑子里常会有类似这样的描述：“

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